Pilgrims End

We are souls encapsulated in a decomposing vessel, that is all we are – vessels living on borrowed time. There is one sad fact about life, it holds true that everything must come to an end. our aspirations come to an end once we have fulfilled them, our life on earth comes to an end when we are old and frail and all good things surely come to an end, everything comes with a limit.

Have you noticed the emptiness that feels your heart when human interaction comes to an end, especially when you are in an environment with friends and family for a period of time and when they suddenly have to depart there comes a desire that you and your loved ones could never go separate ways. Separation brings an emptiness and hollowness that cannot be replaced.

We are pilgrims because we are wondering on this path called life which has a set destination, the path may lead to different places and experiences but eventually it draws to end, the older we get the closer we approach our destination. Life is not a parallel line that carries on into the distance never touching, it starts and finishes drastically.

Pilgrims on this earth, coming into contact with others but someday we will break free of this temporal body and there will be no boundary in sight.  The idea of an end is frightening as we do not know what lies beyond the veil of time, no man has drawn back the curtain of time and space to testify of what awaits us on the other end.

The end approaches so unexpectedly.

Our existence hinges on this, there is no absolute certainty of a beginning but there sure is an absolute surety that death awaits. Pilgrims we are on this earth, but we refuse to acknowledge this sad fact.  We are purposeful beings engulfed in a purposeless cosmos, fated to constantly seek objective meaning where we cannot afford to find it late.

We have made a hell in this beautiful creation of ours where we struggle to control our passions, they come and go like a fever in the night.  I guess Sartre right when he stated “nothingness lies coiled in the heart of a being – like a worm”, our passions are exactly that they are coiled up in our heart. The passions constantly ask us to be free before our end is here but we reply with a resounding nothingness.

We will one day stand at the traffic intersection with the concentrated but shifting view of human life on the other side waiting for it to go green to submerge us with all the desires our soul hopes for before its too late.

That intersection is a resemblance of life, as much as we would like to cross to reach the other side we stop for no reason at all. The emptiness that will fill our hearts when we come to realise our existence is the coming to be and passing away.  The truth of life is to avoid arriving at the end of life with all your passions.

Be like Wittgenstein who declared on his death bed “tell them i lived a wonderful life”. This should be a pilgrims end.

Passions come and go but first we must ignite the fire if we are to walk on this road.

@SummerKnight99

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-deception-

hello guys! hope you’re all well. this piece if not clear, is one written to spite someone who has recently gained the privilege to be the first creature/ spirit i hate: Satan. like i say in the piece, he doesn’t rate me as a Christian and it took me a long time to see that as long as his spirit roams the earth, i can’t afford to play games. he wants to decieve me and stop me from reaching those he wants to burn with him, NOPE! not on my watch.

enjoy.

you see the thing with satan is that he doesn’t rate us. we talk about him as the enemy because he’s against us, his desires for us are laced with hate and passion for us to burn in the fire he was cast to, he wants us there too

he grasps the hearts of many with the wish to fulfil his eternal loneliness. once upon a time he sang about the Lord’s holiness
how great art thou and how glorious but instead of being filled of love he became jealous. the spirit of judas birthed and manifested with a change of heart.

the spirit of sin disguised as him is trying to control us and when we make a decision to leave it behind, he fight us. tried to scare us into submission, instil a body numbing fear that had nothing to do with our God.

i refuse to be decieved. i refused to be confused and fearful. i take a stand with the armour of God surrounding me. i take a stand with the love of Christ engulfing me. while satan tries to choke me into falling i’m following the King. breaking all bonds with the sinners life and choosing to make my way to heaven’s gate.

– @mitchieer

– no more –

this piece speaks for itself. not much to say except i hope you enjoy! 

At certain times I feel content with the way things are, I don’t complain about the scars and the passing emotions that at unwanted times collide with my broken heart.

I don’t mind the building anger that I feel because of the pleas, my heart when it begs for you.



You move so independently, freely and so immediately you’ve forgotten as if you’re already forgiven for the pain and the misery you cause. Like you don’t know how often you carry me away in thoughts of surreal reality and your knowledge of how you’re loved by an inner part of me. However you don’t realise that your absence is near enough killing me.



Bringing me to almost tears as I’m wallowing in my mind. My deepest fears I find there, it’s not clear what the cause is but the moments of regret crawl deep into the depths of my brain’s skies.



I find the words to speak my mind but they are not coherent with the troubled content. Simple words fail to describe, depict or revive. The jumbled words stay with no response and remain deviant to my cognitive commands.



Addiction to love, the feeling of. The drug similarities are crystal. I give up trying to sober up. Absorb rather than rehabilitate and cover my addiction, also known as attraction but this is a devotion of the soul to one being, tired of being alone and covered within depression. Engulfed with the burden of keeping in my expression and unconfessed confession.



How many times can I learn one lesson? How much do I have to fight until I’m beaten down? No more feeling, no more love. No more daydreams equals no hurt. No open doors no chance for heart ache, no more battles in my head.



I think I am better off. The me that dances in the sun and revels in thoughts of the one is better of gone. The me that rejoices in vulnerability, unknowingly moving with naivety tied to her tired heart had better move on.



This heart of mine that jumps at the sight of possible love, smiles at the realities that shine in the real world. My heart, forever in pieces that wishes and wonders how. When will it be delicately placed together again?



Broken. Unspoken words stay woven into the intricate pieces that will forever say separated and until that day, buried it will stay.

– @mitchieer

Joy

The sun always shines brightest in the morning

The sun always shines brightest in the morning

Joy comes at the end, this may be why when we are on our death beds the question gets asked, did you have a fulfil life ? Do you regret anything ?

For this reason, we begin to critically analyse our life and measure how well we’ve lived, it’s a reflection on our past. Socrates stated “an unexamined life is wasted” I believe this comes into play as we are on the verge of death.

Will you experience a level of joy on your death bed or will it be a feeling of utter regret and dryness in your mouth, forgetting the taste of your somewhat enjoyable memories.

I only pray mine will be the latter.

That quote strikes me a great deal, “Joy comes in the morning”. I wonder what misfortune King David found himself in, so that he stayed up all night restlessly waiting for the skies to give way to light and darkness to flee. I’m suspicious to imagine him reminding his scribe to take note of his statement “joy comes in the morning” after dealing with his problems so he may use it for future references. Maybe, I don’t know.

However, what I do seem to know to some extent, is that there is always some satisfaction at the end of something. I would like to say we will receive the same sort of feeling as we approach the finishing lap on the track of life and declare like St.Paul “I have fought the good fight”.

Fight the good fight, take everyday with a pinch of salt eventually you’ll have a well seasoned meal worth eating.  And lastly, don’t despair when nothing seems to be going your way, if you think all hope is lost be sure to remember “Joy comes in the morning”. After all, even those that are blind can feel the heat of the sun rays reassuring them of the fact that although they may not see the sun they sure can feel it’s radiance like everyone else. You too, soon enough will be able to bask in the radiance of the sun like everyone just don’t throw away your shades because there’s a season coming that all the light and glory of the sun will shine upon you allowing you to have the best of both worlds – feeling the Suns radiance and seeing the sun. Keep the shades don’t throw them away, the rain will pass and a rainbow will appear.

@SummerKnight99

Depression

My mind is a mirror, a reflection known only to me.  A place where i lose my grip on reality, and absurdity reigns within.

My mind is a mirror, a reflection known only to me. A place where i lose my grip on reality, and absurdity reigns within.

“Shh depression doesn’t exist”
Those were the same words I repeated to myself
As I stood gasping for breath,
trying to fight my masked enemy
but the more I tried
the tighter my chest became
closing up against itself.
I felt helpless.

“Depression is said to occur due to an imbalance of chemicals”
I repeated to myself
as the knots in my stomach began to tighten
smaller patterns each time
bringing tears to my eyes
As I allowed myself to dwell on the fact that theory was not reality
and that those who wrote the textbooks hadn’t lived the life that I lived

I was sat in a room full of people
yet I felt alone
My face did not betray the reality of what I was currently experiencing
I usually didn’t cry
but my heart felt like it was drenched in sorrow
perpetual damnation
Again the thought crossed my mind, that:
Academics could sit down all day and write but they would never experience the way it felt to desire death whilst praying for life at the same time

Praying for life because my sun had been overwhelmed by darkness
No sight of hope in myself or those whom I called friends
They would never understand how it felt to deal with such a menacing pursuer
How it felt when the ambiance and crowd had dispersed and all that remained was the small nagging voice inside my head prodding at my tender heart and attacking every aspect of my life
And so it’s funny when people think I’m strong but on the inside I’m crumbling
I’m used to being the rock they lean on, but where’s my support?

And it easier said than done when people say “tell me about it, just talk”
IT’S HARD TO SPEAK
How can I say “I’m suffering”, when it’s not something we talk about?
Strong black independent woman that I am
The strong black independent man
We are strong and black and bold
Depression does not exist
We say out loud, whilst we warily eye the clock
waiting to go home and assume foetus position on our beds as we weep
Our loud cries trying to silence those voices

Those tiny consistent voices
My personal nemesis
It makes me despise the philosophical concept of
“I think therefore I am”
Is my existence really necessary?
Why must I think?
The very thing that asserts my humanity destroys me completely…
My thoughts.

I want to stand on the highest mountain and scream and regain my being
I want to go back to how things were before depression overcame me
I want to overcome it
I’m tired
I’m tired of being tired
I want my freedom
“FREE ME!”
I shout, silently whispering the words “please” after

Hoping, praying that my demons take it easy with me
Praying that my shouting didn’t offend them and even if it did
hoping that my guardian angel is finally bold enough to fight on my behalf…
As I regain consciousness I hear the words,
“Why are you here?”
My voice breaking I looked up at her and said
“I tried to overcome depression
I guess I was given a second chance”
She smiled at me and repeated the same words I heard Annalise Keating say on TV last night
Last night when I thought it was too late to puke up the concoction

“I think about it a lot. Killing myself.
I have ever since I was a child.
A lot of times, I think the world would be a much better place without me in it.
But I don’t do it.
You’re a better person than I am.
And if I don’t deserve to die, then you definitely don’t.
I’m sorry you feel alone in your pain, but so do I.
So does everybody. That’s life.”

And you know what?
“That’s life”
Sounds like a better phrase to me than
“depression doesn’t exist”
It’s hard to treat what you refuse to acknowledge
Some days are good
Some days are okay
Some days could be better
Each day I like to think that I grow stronger
And at the end of the day
It’s only ever a bad day not a bad life.

@SummerKnight99 and co-written with a good friend

Be Yourself

Be yourself
It’s the only thing you can be,
Pretence is painful
Honesty is rewarding .

We forget who we are in trying to please the masses
And at the end of the day most of them don’t even have our backs.

Wasted time
Feeling like a wasted life,
The saddest thing is that we’ll only ever meet a few people who care about us
And sometimes we’re too busy looking elsewhere to acknowledge them all.

Life is like a mirror
For a fleeting moment, we see other images in the background which start to blur.
In the end we become focused on our own image losing all knowledge of our surroundings
And it is then that we begin to notice ourselves for who we truly are away from the crowd, the noise, the irrelevant things.

And such is life, everything will eventually blur until your vision becomes focused on you and not the mere distractions in the background.

@SummerKnight99 co-written with a good friend.

Let not your soul and feet wander from its resting place, find solace and strength in the joy of being YOU.

Let not your soul and feet wander from its resting place, find solace and strength in the joy of being YOU.

Enjoy The Ride

IMG_3100

The sun’s setting down
times passing by
soon we’ll have to leave
but i want to savour these remaining minutes.

See everyone seems to be in a rush to get to
a certain goal,
why don’t you just slow down and enjoy the ride.

There won’t be another day like this,
the feeling won’t be so familiar again
so why don’t you just slow down and enjoy the ride.

Enjoy looking at the changing colours of the skies,
enjoy having to travel in silence for just a while.
Not every satisfying moment needs to be spoken about.
take it all in, absorb it like a sponge and embed it deep within you.

Life hits you at a thousand miles an hour,
if all you’re doing is rushing and making plans
you’ll end up missing the little good things about life
leaving you with the realisation of how futile all that
running about was for.

See, seize the moment
Don’t worry about what you can’t
sort out or what you can’t understand
Life has a way of sorting itself out sometimes,
but for now enjoy the ride that life takes you on.

Smile, cry, and laugh whenever you get the opportunity
Let your life be like a glass of red wine that needs
continual refilling.

Enjoy the ride, its bitter sweet but worthwhile
slow down and be one with the tide of time and seasons.

@SummerKnight99