Joy

The sun always shines brightest in the morning

The sun always shines brightest in the morning

Joy comes at the end, this may be why when we are on our death beds the question gets asked, did you have a fulfil life ? Do you regret anything ?

For this reason, we begin to critically analyse our life and measure how well we’ve lived, it’s a reflection on our past. Socrates stated “an unexamined life is wasted” I believe this comes into play as we are on the verge of death.

Will you experience a level of joy on your death bed or will it be a feeling of utter regret and dryness in your mouth, forgetting the taste of your somewhat enjoyable memories.

I only pray mine will be the latter.

That quote strikes me a great deal, “Joy comes in the morning”. I wonder what misfortune King David found himself in, so that he stayed up all night restlessly waiting for the skies to give way to light and darkness to flee. I’m suspicious to imagine him reminding his scribe to take note of his statement “joy comes in the morning” after dealing with his problems so he may use it for future references. Maybe, I don’t know.

However, what I do seem to know to some extent, is that there is always some satisfaction at the end of something. I would like to say we will receive the same sort of feeling as we approach the finishing lap on the track of life and declare like St.Paul “I have fought the good fight”.

Fight the good fight, take everyday with a pinch of salt eventually you’ll have a well seasoned meal worth eating.  And lastly, don’t despair when nothing seems to be going your way, if you think all hope is lost be sure to remember “Joy comes in the morning”. After all, even those that are blind can feel the heat of the sun rays reassuring them of the fact that although they may not see the sun they sure can feel it’s radiance like everyone else. You too, soon enough will be able to bask in the radiance of the sun like everyone just don’t throw away your shades because there’s a season coming that all the light and glory of the sun will shine upon you allowing you to have the best of both worlds – feeling the Suns radiance and seeing the sun. Keep the shades don’t throw them away, the rain will pass and a rainbow will appear.

@SummerKnight99

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Depression

My mind is a mirror, a reflection known only to me.  A place where i lose my grip on reality, and absurdity reigns within.

My mind is a mirror, a reflection known only to me. A place where i lose my grip on reality, and absurdity reigns within.

“Shh depression doesn’t exist”
Those were the same words I repeated to myself
As I stood gasping for breath,
trying to fight my masked enemy
but the more I tried
the tighter my chest became
closing up against itself.
I felt helpless.

“Depression is said to occur due to an imbalance of chemicals”
I repeated to myself
as the knots in my stomach began to tighten
smaller patterns each time
bringing tears to my eyes
As I allowed myself to dwell on the fact that theory was not reality
and that those who wrote the textbooks hadn’t lived the life that I lived

I was sat in a room full of people
yet I felt alone
My face did not betray the reality of what I was currently experiencing
I usually didn’t cry
but my heart felt like it was drenched in sorrow
perpetual damnation
Again the thought crossed my mind, that:
Academics could sit down all day and write but they would never experience the way it felt to desire death whilst praying for life at the same time

Praying for life because my sun had been overwhelmed by darkness
No sight of hope in myself or those whom I called friends
They would never understand how it felt to deal with such a menacing pursuer
How it felt when the ambiance and crowd had dispersed and all that remained was the small nagging voice inside my head prodding at my tender heart and attacking every aspect of my life
And so it’s funny when people think I’m strong but on the inside I’m crumbling
I’m used to being the rock they lean on, but where’s my support?

And it easier said than done when people say “tell me about it, just talk”
IT’S HARD TO SPEAK
How can I say “I’m suffering”, when it’s not something we talk about?
Strong black independent woman that I am
The strong black independent man
We are strong and black and bold
Depression does not exist
We say out loud, whilst we warily eye the clock
waiting to go home and assume foetus position on our beds as we weep
Our loud cries trying to silence those voices

Those tiny consistent voices
My personal nemesis
It makes me despise the philosophical concept of
“I think therefore I am”
Is my existence really necessary?
Why must I think?
The very thing that asserts my humanity destroys me completely…
My thoughts.

I want to stand on the highest mountain and scream and regain my being
I want to go back to how things were before depression overcame me
I want to overcome it
I’m tired
I’m tired of being tired
I want my freedom
“FREE ME!”
I shout, silently whispering the words “please” after

Hoping, praying that my demons take it easy with me
Praying that my shouting didn’t offend them and even if it did
hoping that my guardian angel is finally bold enough to fight on my behalf…
As I regain consciousness I hear the words,
“Why are you here?”
My voice breaking I looked up at her and said
“I tried to overcome depression
I guess I was given a second chance”
She smiled at me and repeated the same words I heard Annalise Keating say on TV last night
Last night when I thought it was too late to puke up the concoction

“I think about it a lot. Killing myself.
I have ever since I was a child.
A lot of times, I think the world would be a much better place without me in it.
But I don’t do it.
You’re a better person than I am.
And if I don’t deserve to die, then you definitely don’t.
I’m sorry you feel alone in your pain, but so do I.
So does everybody. That’s life.”

And you know what?
“That’s life”
Sounds like a better phrase to me than
“depression doesn’t exist”
It’s hard to treat what you refuse to acknowledge
Some days are good
Some days are okay
Some days could be better
Each day I like to think that I grow stronger
And at the end of the day
It’s only ever a bad day not a bad life.

@SummerKnight99 and co-written with a good friend

– easy as ABC –

A love that can not be destroyed more like a 

Beautiful curse placed upon God’s only. 

Christ, who is wholly God gave up his Holy throne to save us 

Death engulfed Him so we were made free

Every sin ever known to man was destroyed in an instant 

Freely, we roam the earth only because of God. 

God. Our Father and our friend. Also our 

Healer and our protector. Although we were the persecutors he told us 

I love you and I will die for you’ 

Just like that, our sinned was wiped away the 

King of kings slain for love. Slain for our sake 

Love knows no depths as this. No measures and no lengths as this. 

Morning came on the third day, expecting a decayed Christ,  we found a risen king.

Nothing in the universe could stop Him from resurrecting and running back to us with 

Open arms and a place by His side for all our days to come 

Putting all our pasts behind us, everything forgotten the instant we rose with Him. We now know our God. 

Quick to love and slow to anger is our precious God. He

Reigns  forever and ready to accept us as our redeemer 

Sin no longer defining us but His love owning us. 

Today He is the same as he was yesterday and will be tomorrow 

Under His grace we’re covered, His love carrying us. 

Vanity, greed, war, hate – all things we were lost in. Now we’re 

Winning because we’ve been graced with a new beginning 

X marks the treasure we were searching for 

You and me. Travelling through life searching for our home and now 

Zion welcomes us, the treasure that is Jesus waits for us there. 

just trying something new here. been meaning to post this for a while but procrastination is an enemy of progress..

enjoy 🙂

@mitchieer

Peace

IMG_1498

Birds, flowers and the sun,
these are but the few signs of summer.
The joy of staying late into the night
to catch the stars and moon glisten
casting their light unto a sleepless world.

With loved ones by your side enjoying
the cool wind blowing by,
accompanied by the peaceful slow paced
breathing that is in sync with the tide coming in and out
towards you.

These are the moments you savour for
they leave imprinted footprints in your memory
of how serene life can be.

@SummerKnight99

I haven’t got time for love no more

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Love – defined as a strong affection towards another,
but who ever benefitted from it?
As much joy and happiness it brings
equally it causes pain, and leaves one empty
trying to patch up that hole where so much energy and life was drained from,
only to find oneself falling apart unnoticed
passing through countless relationships that never measure
up to the first genuine “romance”.

I tell myself i haven’t got time for love no more.
let it find me,
let it come knocking on my door,
maybe just maybe, i might invite it in for a brief moment
to capture its spirit, to know its ambitions
to see what it offers.

Let the young and old keep their stories of affection
convincing themselves their partner is their world.
let misery, pain, sickness and all the bad in this world
take hold of your so called loved ones
to put your “strong affection” on trial.
will you stand by their side to the end
or will you attempt but crumble under the pressure and leave,
until then i only take your declaration of love to be empty words
carrying no weight.

Prove to be like Romeo or Juliet
whose passion for one another was so deep
they willingly sacrificed their lives knowing
in the other world they would never be separated,
than one to continue a mediocre life whereby
they couldn’t share their thoughts and aspirations
or couldn’t wake up and turn to hear the soft breathing of a loved one sleeping.

Again i relay, I haven’t got time for love no more,
let me focus on my journey – silence is comforting;
Enjoy this day you call Valentines
indulge yourself into believing you need one day to show your feelings
to your significant other,
but for me i will be true to myself and wait
until i wait no more.

Love is like a game of cards
each player hopes to deal the best hand,
its a winner takes all type of game
no runner up.
Its either they love you or not,
which ever one it is
life goes on but
the loser carries the weight of a dampened flame.

I have no interest in losing such a game
why throw myself into an affair that may leave me
worse off than i started?

@SummerKnight99

The soul of a mortal being

The soul of a mortal being
Who possess knowledge of the cruelty of mankind and the injustices experienced by so many aches by day and night,
His spirit is full of anguish
Of grief and torment
Night and day expires at the expense of his affliction.

For he does not know what to do with this knowledge
If he was to give truth to the masses who are blind and oblivious to the revelations of history
They would only scold him,
refusing to hearken unto his claims of truth
They would persecute him and treat him as a mere psychotic.

unknownhowever if he was to refuse to declare to the masses the divination received
he would only subject himself to the foreboding agony
his spirit would be troubled
Even if God was to send down his angel to help bear the turmoil of a dampened
spirit, it would be useless for only he alone, he made of flesh and blood
he who feels the deepest hurt of the children of man
could possibly bear his turmoil and the responsibility given him through the gain of knowledge

So the question I rely to you is What good is knowledge if you keep it sealed in the bottomless pit of your heart ?

@summerKnight99